The truth about Open Relationships

                                                       

Well, I recently had a conversation with a friend about open relationship which led me to think about the source of the problem people might have with open relationship, as i see it.  She felt that people really just didn't want an open relationship because when you think of relationship, it's a me and you thing. Basically what she thinks, if it's me and you why do we need to go outside of the relationship and or even why have a relationship, if someone wants to engage on any level with someone else. I could see her point, however the percentage of people that entertain relationships outside of their     "relationship" is ridiculous. So, i questioned that fact and surmised, in my own head, that it's a possession issue. No one really wants to share their lover with anyone else. Maybe it's just me, maybe i'm the only one that has shifted from the traditional monogamy paradigm.....Note, that hasn't really been working the way it was structured or sold to us.........so my perspective is a little skewed. As I see it, i reiterate, most people don't have a problem with open relationships, they just don't wanna share their boy/girl friend for a fear that hell i don't know, i don't know ummmmm.......or maybe it's as simple as it's "my toy" and no one plays with 'my toy" cause it's belongs to Me,lol and then again i don't know anything of this for certain. What I do know folks are participating or entertaining on some level friendships with benefits with people outside of their relationship. They usually do this under the radar, unbenounced to their boy/girl friend. I think if most could have their cake and ice cream they would and i think they do as long as they think they can get away it. The thought of sharing "Their Partner" is out of the question. Most would say, No Way! Thus a open relationship has to come off the table, if it was ever an consideration. To add to the problem before it really becomes a problem, the person that brings this topic up gets caught in the b.s. or becomes accused of playing outside the relationship simply because they brought it up. Monogamous traditional styled relationships tends to lend one to a life of half truths,lol if that's possible....lies and omissions on many level and about a host of things. I'm not suggesting that this is a fact for everyone that's in a monogamous relationship, i'm just saying........... Ask yourself, those of you in a traditional relationship; Can you really share what you are feeling just for the sake of sharing your feeling with your boy/girl friend? Does your boy/girl friend really know you? What would your boy/girl friend think or say about some of the thoughts you may have that you having been holding in due to fear of what they might say? I'm really ready for people to keep it one hundred about how they feel and share with their boy/girl friend in way a that shatters the fear of losing that person to another. Share, in a way that removes the lies and distrust. A relationship where couple are  truly intimate and their bond is deeper and about more  than the attachment. A mature relationships where people can respectfully and effectively communicate. A realistic relationships where your relationship is about ya'll and not what anyone thinks it should be about. An open and honest shared relationship where the connection is out of this World, much like the fairy tale you've been sold. Let's release the insecurity, jealousy, anger, possession, control, judgement, self judgement and fear with 2010 and go into 2011with a broader perspective.


Michelle Madison