Decisions, Decision......

I co-host a internet radio show, The S Planet "Ms. Angel Eyes Show that we do live every Wednesday at 8pm on blog talk radio. The actual web address is www.blogtalkradio.com/thesplanet .... This weeks show is a follow up to last week show, it's a part II because we had such a interesting show and we didn't finish it. That show has got me thinking and as well as a few other things have transpired since the show about the decision. Deciding when to leave a relationship. Well Tina Turner said it best when she sang "WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WIT IT". I decided to leave my current relationship,which was polygamist, because it is the right thing to do. I'm not happy. I don't wanna have to separate but it's just the best thing for "ME" to do. I'm actually in love and love them both very much and the pain of separation is actually hurting me more than i would honestly like to say though it is. I have to make the right decision for me. As i write this blog at 4 am in the morning it is clear that i am disturb by the reality of my current situation. The tears, the heartache, the sleepless nights, the semi depressive state of mind and separation anxiety makes me wanna mend my relationship however i know with in the depths of my heart, soul and mind that i shouldn't and can't because leaving is the right thing to do for "ME". The short of it is that we have a different outlook for our relationship and no matter how long i stay in it the core of our issues won't change. So though I love them, i have to leave them for my own peace of mind. I do and will always love them. I have some wonderful memories of what was good and don't won't the possible memories of the bad times to over shadow them. Peace to my family i will never never ever forget you two. I choose to leave now and love has nothing to do with it!!!!!!! I will miss ya'll, hell i already do..

Maybe another time in our lives will be better............

Michelle Madison
JUS LOVE

The truth about Open Relationships

                                                       

Well, I recently had a conversation with a friend about open relationship which led me to think about the source of the problem people might have with open relationship, as i see it.  She felt that people really just didn't want an open relationship because when you think of relationship, it's a me and you thing. Basically what she thinks, if it's me and you why do we need to go outside of the relationship and or even why have a relationship, if someone wants to engage on any level with someone else. I could see her point, however the percentage of people that entertain relationships outside of their     "relationship" is ridiculous. So, i questioned that fact and surmised, in my own head, that it's a possession issue. No one really wants to share their lover with anyone else. Maybe it's just me, maybe i'm the only one that has shifted from the traditional monogamy paradigm.....Note, that hasn't really been working the way it was structured or sold to us.........so my perspective is a little skewed. As I see it, i reiterate, most people don't have a problem with open relationships, they just don't wanna share their boy/girl friend for a fear that hell i don't know, i don't know ummmmm.......or maybe it's as simple as it's "my toy" and no one plays with 'my toy" cause it's belongs to Me,lol and then again i don't know anything of this for certain. What I do know folks are participating or entertaining on some level friendships with benefits with people outside of their relationship. They usually do this under the radar, unbenounced to their boy/girl friend. I think if most could have their cake and ice cream they would and i think they do as long as they think they can get away it. The thought of sharing "Their Partner" is out of the question. Most would say, No Way! Thus a open relationship has to come off the table, if it was ever an consideration. To add to the problem before it really becomes a problem, the person that brings this topic up gets caught in the b.s. or becomes accused of playing outside the relationship simply because they brought it up. Monogamous traditional styled relationships tends to lend one to a life of half truths,lol if that's possible....lies and omissions on many level and about a host of things. I'm not suggesting that this is a fact for everyone that's in a monogamous relationship, i'm just saying........... Ask yourself, those of you in a traditional relationship; Can you really share what you are feeling just for the sake of sharing your feeling with your boy/girl friend? Does your boy/girl friend really know you? What would your boy/girl friend think or say about some of the thoughts you may have that you having been holding in due to fear of what they might say? I'm really ready for people to keep it one hundred about how they feel and share with their boy/girl friend in way a that shatters the fear of losing that person to another. Share, in a way that removes the lies and distrust. A relationship where couple are  truly intimate and their bond is deeper and about more  than the attachment. A mature relationships where people can respectfully and effectively communicate. A realistic relationships where your relationship is about ya'll and not what anyone thinks it should be about. An open and honest shared relationship where the connection is out of this World, much like the fairy tale you've been sold. Let's release the insecurity, jealousy, anger, possession, control, judgement, self judgement and fear with 2010 and go into 2011with a broader perspective.


Michelle Madison

IF

                                                     IF
                                         (Random thoughts*)


If i could be so bold, i would live the dream that i dream
If i could be so fortunate to have the opportunity to just be, i would humble myself and just be
If i could have everything that my heart desired not because i deserved it but because i simple ask why wouldn't i ask
If i knew life could be easy, why wouldn't i just let be easy
If life was easy, would you let it be
If life was really easy, would you believe it
If i knew life was a lie, would i live it anyway if i was happy
If i felt happiness was found in the truth, would i seek it
If in fact your reality is only your reality, should i trust it for me
If they are right, who ever they are, seriously does that mean your wrong
If it doesn't matter, then why are you tripping
If i could have my cake and eat it too, without hurting anyone why wouldn't i, I mean seriously
If you knew that fear stood in between you and your destiny, would you move it or just be scared
If someone showed you who they are would you believe them or make excuses for them.
If love was free, would you accept it
If love cost you nothing, would you still try to buy it
If someone offered you love no strings attached, would you be skeptical about that someone
If love did cost what would you give for it.... your life
If life is worth living, why not live
If you are seeking change around you, change you
If you held all the answers to what you wanted to know, would you trust that you knew them
If you had the answers the questions you've desired, what would you do with it
If in fact the universe is a whole then you are a part of the whole, what difference do you think your existence make
If you don't like the people around you, you don't like parts of you, YOU are what YOU attract
If you find the people around you to be negative, have you thought about the fact that you may be negative
If you don't like your surroundings, change you and your surrounding will change
If you want to be happy focus, on happy things
If you see yourself as a different person, then be the person you see
If you want to be a leader, don't surround you self with followers, lead by example and people will follow
If change is growth, then is one dying if they aren't changing
If you desire the most organic outcome, release expectations
If i told you to expect less of me would, you still expect more from me
If you held expectations for your life, what would you do if you fell short......... a cycle of frustration
If you expect nothing you gain everything
If you move with the flow, you're likely to get where your going sooner
If you knew the path you chose would be painful, would you still stay on path to reap the rewards
TO BE CONTINUED.................

Michelle Madison
JUS LOVE