What I didn't know
What i didn't know about me and where i thought i was in reference to dealing with a relationship. Well i'm not as grown as i thought. ....... i mean, I've still got some issues, lots of work to do. Imma have to worked them out before i dive into any type of relationship or so I thought. I've repeatedly said that i didn't want a traditional relationship and by that i mean if and when i got into a relationship it wouldn't be built like typical relationship and its typical bullshit and yes, I've always got something to say.......bla bla blab blab. SO! Wow!!
I was in this relationship like thing, right. I hadn't even thought about the fact that it has been a while since i had been in a relationship so was i in for some new shit but i didn't know. How could i have known that i was or wasn't ready? I haven't been in a relationship to test my theories out. My feet are hurting from these brand new shoes and man the same ole relationship bullshit blues is some real bad news. It's not only the same ole, it's also some new b.s. in addition too. The games are way to hard to figure out and as I have said before if life is like the game chess i'm screwed cause i suck at chess. At any rate, I got up to bat and went all in. I flat out struck out! I thought it honesty would work. It didn't, only to created more insecurity, more questions, more probability and more fear. How funny is that. We weren't really relating which was the whole point of the relationship like thing in the first place. I couldn't take no more, so i jumped out just as quick as i jumped in. In the end I was lied to and come to find out I was lied to in the beginning......smh. .. We really never had chance. Damn it! I just can't win.
